339/365
My boss was in the office today, which brought a real "gotta get stuff done" energy to an otherwise tepid Friday. Most of my day was spent cleaning up some client-side data handling that I wrote and listening to TikTok drama recaps on YouTube. My lead really doesn't like fetching data from the client, so I'm rewriting the JS to process the same data from the backend. While I do have some concerns about performance, I've learned to manage my stress levels and not say anything. At the end of the day, we don't have a git blame, so all fault is distributed.
I have to keep reminding myself that I'm no longer at Big Tech USA and I can relax instead of play office politics. I took this job to gain deep knowledge on frontend programming and that is exactly what I get to do every day. My 6 years of full-stack experience are neither sought after nor required for the role, so I'm just gonna relax. I'm chill! I'm learning a lot and I get to create a fascinating life outside of work and code.
And what a beautiful life it is! The weather is finally getting cold in Tokyo, which is my favorite type of weather. I love bundling up like a Nancy Meyers character, casually strolling with a cup of something hot and sweet as golden leaves give way to barren branches. This time of year always carries a nostalgic aura, full saccharine, twee sentiment. It's transitional but not liminal, changing yet certain. All that goes will come again, and that is the way it's meant to be.
Speaking of positive change: my creative spark has finally reignited. At some point over the past 3 months of 'Bad Art Club' prep and execution, I found my passion again. This weekend, I'm going to attempt to rearrange my furniture to encourage knitting before sitting (and scrolling) on my bed. I'm excited about what I'll create! I love feeling this way.
And this, dear readers, is why I refuse to push too much at this job. Why bother, when I can reserve my energy for things that make me happy? Normally, I prefer to have more input on technical decisions. However, the past year has shown me that perhaps, in this role, that's not something I need to pursue. Life is about finding balance between what needs your attention and what truly deserves it. In this season, following my creative impulses will always win out.